A Few Things I learned From You...

 That loving someone means being there through the thick of things. 

To be present.

How to love unconditionally... especially the ugly places.  

How to live well  with little... 

very little. 

How to shave my legs in a lake.

How to sunbathe with baby oil and decades later regret it with skin cancer. 

To pay your bills before spending on your wants. 

How to pack and move over and over and over again.

And through that ... learned  I didn't want that for my own life. 

How to drive a Pontiac and pull a Uhaul.  

That strong, deep  roots are needed to  flourish. 

To be careful as to who and what I listen to and always consider the source.  

To just admit it when I'm wrong. 

How to say I'm sorry, please forgive me.  -- Then go on. 

To underbake chocolate chip cookies always.

And to understand that cookies dunked in milk for breakfast is completely acceptable-

(Just don't tell your teacher.)

To give grace and second chances.--

But not take abuse from a man.  

To try to always be on time.

Make my bed every morning.  

Take off my shoes inside the door... especially at other people's homes.  

You can find really good stuff at thrift shops and...

you will not die getting your school clothes from there either.  

Look for bargains. 

Use your coupons. 

Compliment people.

Encourage others. 

Accept help when I need it.  

That to fool me once shame on you,... fool me twice and shame on me.  

How to cut up a whole chicken at the joints.

How to make really good gravy. 

That I didn't ever want you to give me something to cry about.

Always keep my word. 

Be someone  whom others can confide in .. be their secret keeper. 

Everyone makes mistakes.

Keep trying.

When to stand up for yourself and fight back. 

Have a sentimental heart and save momentos and trinkets from my past.

How to parallel park.  (or ..go around the block til something opens up) 

That your car bumper is for bumping.  (Ma!!!!) 

How to give a brand new baby his first bath.

"That babies are really tougher than you'd think."

That it is worth it to make my  babies sleep in their own crib at night. 

Consistency in discipline is key.

Always get up and give your seat to an elder.  

Just because someone is rich does not make them better than you..

"we all put our pants on one leg at a time and 

everyone's poop stinks."  (I love that one Mama) 

To not smoke cigarettes because lung cancer sucks. 

To always carry  a paper towel kleenex in my pocket.  

You  can't trust every body.  

Most people will live their whole life long and only be able 

to count five or less absolute true friends on their hands.  

To worship God with my every little thing.

Always thank Him for my food before I eat it. 

To not take rocks from the badlands... (funny story there)*

Getting old is not easy.

Hair is not that important and bald is beautiful too. 

How to be brave.

Face my giants like David. 

Every day is a gift.

Ordinary days are wonderful.  

Humility can be a hard thing.

Laughter is good medicine and sometimes it's useful  to laugh stuff off too. 

Things can look different after I sleep on it.  

How to make a purple comforter.  

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and to 

look for beauty and goodness.  

Dress modestly.. "If you don't have somethin to sell, don't advertise." 

Patience is some kind of a golden nugget... 

At the very end of  your life there was something beautiful you could see 

that I could not.  

Happy Heavenly Birthday Mama... 

Dragonflykisses, xoxo

L

It Was Bittersweet

One of the joys in my life is baking not only for my family but 

also for the guys who work for us at the auto mechanics, and welding shops.  

Usually it's once or twice a week; depending on how fast they polish off 

the pans of bars, cookies, cupcakes and sweet breads.  

One of the recipes I make often is my AngelMomma's 

Blonde Brownies.  The pan in the photo is one of the very pans that she herself made them in.

After she died; I got to have this one.  

One of the many things I've loved about it was her name

 written in her own handwriting on the bottom in black 

permanent marker.  She started writing her name on bowls and pans to make

sure she'd get them back when sharing at  church potlucks.  

Because this pan has been so special to me; I pretty much only use it

to make her blonde brownie recipe.  

Still; as much as I make them; ...

 it's been used quite  a few times.  

My Momma has been gone over 9 years now.  

So; no matter how permanent a black sharpie can be; 

it still fades with dish washing.  I suppose at least three times now,

I've found myself carefully re-tracing over her cursive letters in fresh, black permanent marker.  

It just seemed important to keep it "there."  

Well, the other day, Myguy came home from work carrying in my baking pans from the fab shop.  

He grinned and said one of the guys told him, "You should take those empty pans home with you, coz then she'll make us some more."  

Hearing that made me feel so good inside.  

I set them in the sink, even though it looked like someone had already washed them.

After all, Lord  knows what they came in contact with in the work truck, or how 

long they actually rattled around in there.  

I filled the sink up with hot suds and thought of my Momma as once again,

that olde aluminum pan was lovingly hand washed.  

Turning it over to rinse, is when something  didn't look right. 

... and that's when it really dawned on me. 

Where's her name? 

I think I even said it out loud. 

Maybe I was wrong and it was actually on the lid? 

Inspecting the lid; -- it wasn't there  either.  

No... her handwriting had been on the bottom and 

now was ...gone.  

I felt hot tears start stinging  my eyes.  

Why did I even use that pan?  

I should have stuck it back in the cupboard and kept it... safe.  

"Oh Momma."  

I stood there... wiping away a streaming river of salt and remorse when 

I swear I could almost hear her lovingly say,

"Leaonie, ...I'm not in the handwriting...

I'm in your hands."  

--I stood there soakin that in a spell.

And I know if she really would have been standing there-

she probably would have said that very thing.  

Then ...she'd tell me to keep using that olde pan, ... and these olde hands

...Just like she did.  

Whatever your hand finds to do,

do it with all your might

Ecc. 9:10

  

Today is Momma's birthday.  

And to celebrate her ... 

I just took two sticks of butter out to soften 

for another pan of 

 blonde brownies.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Momma.  

I love you more,  Leaonie

What Momma Did

Go:

Momma was a cheerleader for the Claremont Honkers.  She  was a little bitty thing; yet... still  the strongest woman I ever knew.
She liked to buy second hand clothes with  purses and shoes that matched in  wild colors like kelly green, sun yellow and bright- hot pink.   She believed in lipstick,  and rouge and used to curl  her hair with bobby pins and dippity do. She took up sewing  and started making  her own slinky slips with pretty lace trims.  She even made me a hot pink polyester pant suit once to wear to the St John's Catholic church. In her own beautiful way she was a Fashionista... even matching bandanas to her outfits after the chemo took her pretty white hair.
She was  born again and re-baptised. 
Going to church became  one of her favorite things to do.
She worshipped God with both arms up and shook her fists while her charm bracelet chinkeled like a tambourine.
.....In three more days; six long years ago... she got her final wish-
she went "home."


stop.

Happy Mother's Day Part 2

Greetings and Holykisses everyone,

I know some of you are hurting today and I've been thinking of you and lifting you in my prayers throughout the day. I know this day can be very bittersweet for many.

Before this day ends, I have a few more things I wanted to share with you.
Today was decoration day at our cemetery. I've been looking for a new wind chime for my Momma's grave and just hadn't found one.

Yesterday, a package came for me. Turning it over, I discovered it came from a blogging friend.
Opening it, ... was a shower of blessings. My heart was so overwhelmed as I opened each and every very thoughtful and sentimental gift. And then... I opened the windchimes above. My friend didn't know that I'd been looking for one; but there before my very eyes was a beautiful new windchime. It not only is the perfect length for the shepherds hook, but also has a dragonfly on it! Dear friend, God used you in a mighty way to bless me. Thank you with all my heart. I'd like to keep this special gift on my Angel Mother's grave all week long to celebrate Mother's day and her birthday too that is in just two more days.
This morning, Myguy and I drove to the cemetery and changed the wind chimes, and then cleaned off Momma's grave stone. The whole cemetery was beautiful. So many people had decorated and left flowers. I was delighted to take my Momma a whole bouquet of her pink peonies. :) A few of them started blowing away as I laid them on the ground. It kinda gave me goosebumps.
Later in the day, we had a barbecue and I was so blessed to have both our sons around me.
These are my baby boys. I can't tell ya how thankful I am, that God chose me for their Momma. What a privilege it is.

Sometimes I don't know where the time has gone?
In ways, it seems like just yesterday that I was burpin them and tryin not to stick em with safety pins using those old cloth diapers, when we'd run outta Huggies. Somewhere along the way I blinked, and they grew up on us. But oh how I love them.

Thank you Lord.

There's another person I'm thankful for as well today: My Mil. She's taught me many things over the years and I'm grateful! I will never forget the time she took me into the delivery room where she gave birth to her son- my husband. Standing there that day, ... made me understand how God orders our steps. He has a bigger plan than we can ever imagine. I'm thankful God used her to Mother the man I love. Thankyou My Mil. I heart you.

~holykisses xoxo

Happy Mother's Day Part 1

Good morning everyone and happy Mothers day!
This is just a quick note to start the day, and first pay tribute to my angel Mother. Our boys are coming over later today, and I have more I want to share in part 2.

My Momma....... was so much more than a mother to me; --she was my friend... and even my next door neighbor. Her house sits 5 acres from ours and a path was worn between them.
We did life together .... and even went to the same church. The photo above is one of my favorites. She was healthy, happy and in God's house.

The video I shared yesterday of the kids talking about needing their Mom's to point them to Christ, puts a lump in my throat. Because the closer my Momma got to leaving for heaven; the more and more she pointed me to Christ. Her relationship with Jesus grew so much... and she unashamedly lived for Him until stepping into His kingdom. --Those last days; I started feeling her detaching from me.... but clinging to HIM. (Thanks Mom.)

Thanks for teaching me WHO to cling to.
Thanks for teaching me to draw nearer to Him.
Thanks for teaching me to praise Him no matter what my circumstances are.
Thanks for teaching me that life is a gift and to always choose LIFE.
Thanks for teaching me to worship Him with all my heart...charm bracelet tinkling and hands raised high.

All that I am or ever hope to be... I owe to my Angel Mother. ~Abraham Lincoln.

If Roses grow in heaven
Lord please pick a bunch for me
Place them in my Mother's arms
And tell her they're from me
Tell her I love her and miss her
And when she turns to smile
Place a kiss upon her cheek
And hold her for awhile
Because remembering her is easy
I do it everyday
But there's an ache within my heart
Because I'm missing her today
(author unknown)

Happy Mother's day.
Holykisses xoxo
Leaonie

Feeling A Little BitterSweet On Mother's Day

Greetings, Holykisses, and Happy Mother's day!

For the last two days, I've either had the flu or a case of food poisoning. We went out to eat thee other night and I had chicken strips, curly fries and then we stopped at the snow cone stand to have our first of the season. I tell you, if I ever see chicken strips, curly fries, or a strawberry cheesecake snowcone ever again, it'll be too soon. I woke up in the middle of the night throwing up, and haven't felt that bad ever since I got sick in Cancun.

In case I'm contagious, we're staying home from church today. I'm still achy and queasy and would not want to share this with anyone else if it is the flu. (yuck) I stayed in bed all day yesterday, and last night. I got up early this morning for more tylenol and read the Word awhile. This day, still leaves me feeling rather bittersweet because I miss my Angelmother. You can read about her first here, and then here.

Time and tears has made things some-better. And although I know she's in heaven and I will see her again... I still have moments where I still feel awful sorry for myself. Especially when all my friends are off doing things with their own Mothers. I really, really miss that, and can't help feeling alone. Because my Mom lived across the pasture, just 5 acres away, she was very much "my day." We did a lot together. She was more than my Momma, she was my dearest friend.

With Mother's day approaching, grief has returned once again; when and where I'd least expect it. I went to Hobby Lobby this week, looking for the perfect flowers to put on her grave, and it hit me again right there in the store. (Hobby Lobby was "our" store. Thee only place she'd let me push her in a wheelchair because she wanted to go inside so badly and was too weak to walk around.) There I stood, aching for her in the floral section, with two mascara rivers flowing down both cheeks. Not pretty.

Trying to gain composure, and walking thee isles I found this dragonfly. It was like a hug and bandaid for my bleeding heart. Today it's on her grave. Funny how dragonflies seem to come outta nowhere, right when I need them the very most.

The very SWEET part of this day, is found in the blessing that God gave me two incredible sons and a beautiful daughter in love. My focus goes to them today, even when I cry on the inside. I pray with all my heart that I live my life in such a way, and show them the love they deserve that one day they'll think of me as I do my own angel Mother. ~As I hug my own kids today, I'll remember her, and keep reminding them to keep their eyes on God, while teaching them how to love.... with all of their heart.

Dragonfly kisses Momma....
~Til we meet again~