It was sometime after Thanksgiving.
I don't think my dates are correct in my watecolor book but
the flowers are spot on.
I ran to town to get groceries...
In these parts there is always a bell ringer at the doors of many stores
between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
This place is no exception.
--So, ...I'd seen her there several times.
I don't know her... and don't know her name.
She- was there again today.. ringing the bell. I always wait until I come back out
to fold up a dollar or two and try to push it down through the slot of the red pot.
I did this and... we exchange quick pleasantries...
--right now I can't remember if it was a "merry Christmas" but maybe.
I push my buggy to my vehicle ... load up ... roll it back to the cart corral and this feeling
.. this thought is popping in my head.
It makes no sense.
I start my Jeep and all I can think is
"go get her flowers."
? what?????
Ummm Noooo... surely not.
I proceed out ... and pull out of the parking lot...
heading for home!
That thought again tho.... it's strong:
Go get her flowers...
and not only that...yellow roses comes to mind.
???
I kept going... I mean
I don't want to ... I have groceries... and need to get home.
She'll think I'm crazy ...
a weirdo... more like it!
But it doesn't go away and I know ...
it is not going to go away.
In times past ... I've tried to ignore things like this and
sometimes
regretted it.
I would find out later if only I had done the thing pressed on my heart... all
these other dots... woulda made more sense... somehow.
Even though I can't understand it at the time.
So, I make a U turn... here we go.
BACK.
Back to the store...
back into the parking lot.
Heart is pounding..
face is probly flushed. I don't know..
I don't get it... but I know... I gotta go
back and get the flowers.
I get out...lock my doors and she hollers to me as I approach.
"Forget something?"
I nodded I think.... and scurry inside.
Here we go ... past the strawberries, and blueberries, and bananas...
to the little flower stand.
There they are a whole bouquet of yellow roses.
I feel ... I don't even know how to describe it???... but
make my way back up front and pay for flowers.
Walking to those doors holding receipt in one hand and flowers in the other...
there she is.
I just hand the bouquet out to her....
and she looks soooo surprised.
I mean... ??? I promise you I was too.
I don't remember what was said exactly...
but I told her I felt like I was supposed to get her flowers.
????
She thanked me with huge eyes... and I made a run for it.
Home.
Heart still pounding... I called my husband and told him what happened.
He said he was proud of me for just doing it.
He's had things happen to him before a time or two and we just
chalked it up to ... well, ??? maybe she needed flowers... ??
Who knows?
So... another thing going on lately is we've been praying for so long
where to go to church. We just feel so stuck... and don't know where we belong?
I told my husband what I want for Christmas is to go to church..and pray we find where we
are supposed to be.
We both grew up in very different denominations. We've been to several different ones...
Sometimes we drive around and look at church signs and their times... and have had long discussions
on it all ... Well ... we found one church that is possibly more like the one my husband was raised in.
The other night we went out for ice cream and found ourselves driving through that church parking lot and found what time it started Sunday. So we made a plan to go and just see what it's like.
We didn't know anyone who went there.
Sunday morning we got up early and got ready.
I had the jitters really bad and asked Myguy to pray for me... coz I kinda wanted to just chicken out.
He did- he prayed outloud for me... and we headed out.
We had to stop at Dollar General for something and I pointed to this worship center next to it..
and said, "Well we could always go there instead if you want."
But we knew we needed to go to the other one we had made plans to attend.
We pull in the parking lot... and watched a little bit.
Saw no one we knew...
I'm not crazy about going to new places I'll be honest.
I feel shy ... and awkward.
But we get out and opened that door.
A lady asked me to sign the guest book and so I did.... with Myguy behind me.
As I looked up... guess who I see waving to me?
It was the "yellow roses lady"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was smiling so big ... happy to see me...
I went straight to her and we talked and were soooo surprised to see eachother!
Laughing at the craziness of it all together!
Then a man walks up by us and my husband is smiling and all happy ... he knows the guy!
He'd worked with him before!!!
Come to find out... yep... it's yellow roses lady's husband!
Omg... I still just can't get over it.
So they invited us to sit by them... and we did.
Towards the end of service they had Communion.
I tried to whisper to yellow roses lady wondering if we were allowed to take communion?
She shook her head no, she didn't think so.
I nodded okay... but my heart inside
split like a stick of dry firewood.
I wanted to cry... coz I wanted to receive Communion so much.
It had been a long time.
This usher was standing at the pew isles one at a time... to let
each row go forward. He got to ours last... and yellow roses lady and her husband went up..
............ Then.... he leaned to me and said, "Yall can go."
I was shocked and said, Really?... we can forward????"
He said, "Yes.... if you want to."
I very much wanted to!!!
So we stood and went forward!
They have a long table... where you kneel
and they made room for us at the table to receive the body and blood of Christ.
I have goosebumps again writing this here.
My dry firewood heart felt like it just lit!
... ablaze...
so full... and warm....
bathed in mercy and forgiveness, ... grace
and joyyyy... peace.....
--- I felt such gratitude... so much gratitude...
and yellow roses... ?? Well....
Who knew?... but God.
I know it was all Him.
We are going back on Christmas eve.... and I can hardly wait.
It's been so long since I was so very anxious to go to church.
My husband feels the same way.
Yellow roses lady texted me today.
She's happy we are coming back to church Christmas Eve.
me too.
ohhhhh me too!
Until we meet again,
<*))))><
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