She Pointed To Him... Letter In The Hatbox

This hatbox full of memories.

Old black and white photos... bits of old journals that told the story 

of our life together. Today I walked down memory lane and read about food we made and took to people

who were sick at our church... funerals we went to together.. ladies meetings, -- things I'd forgotten.   

Weddings, graduations, thrift shopping, stopping for Johnnys frozen custards, ..

chemo trips, ... even notebook pages where I kept up with her medications when she 

went on hospice.  Morphine. So many memories came back to me.

I found a poem I wrote about her that she saved.. it was from the rapid city journal when I was a kid.

Photos of us together, and ... even our very last picture taken together

cuddling under her prayer shawl.  We both tried to smile...and I had tears.

My intention opening this box was to pare it down.. 

but instead; looking back through it ... it filled me up with her love. 

I don't think I've ever shared this letter here so today before 

boxing it back up I thought I'd leave it here at the shed. 

I know it's raw... I'm no poet but re reading it; I can feel my heart was in it.  

(below: written a long time ago)

In memory of my Mama...

I started this poem thinking of ways to honor my angel mother who went to heaven 

on February 25, 2007.  I can think of many things to write about her.. she was an awesome Mother and my very best friend.  Not a day goes by that I don't usually still cry, and miss her with all my heart.  She taught me many things, even right up until her death.  She was a child of God and grew even closer to Him during her fight with cancer.  She never took her eyes off God, no matter what.  But I did one day when she was in a lot of pain.  I went home that night and cried out to God with, "Why??? WHY HER?... She loves You!!"  I questioned Him and then I picked up my bible.  In everything that I read, He said,  "I'm with you... just trust me!"  I went back the next morning and shared with Mom what God had told me through His word.  Do you know what her words were?  "Well praise the Lord!!"  

And that is what she did all the way to the end.  She praised Him every day no matter what she felt like, the pain that she endured... she praised God.  And she told me that "each and every day is a gift."

Here I was thinking, woe is me... woe is her... how awful things were and yet she said, 

each and every day is a gift.

and 

praise the Lord. 

Life lessons.  That's what she taught me. Her heart song was Jesus. And right before she passed away, I was blessed to witness her seeing things I could not see... and people I couldn't see. 

She was smiling so big and was so happy; and then she went Home.  I believe she saw the glory of God.  Even angels.  It was amazing.  Okay back to this poem I was going to write about her.  I began telling all the things about her... and her life.  Then I realized she wouldn't want it to be about her at all.  She pointed to Him.  So my prayer is that I honor the masterpiece of her life, by giving the glory back to the Master just like she always did.  Please listen with your heart .. with your heart wide open.

Colleen Mary

Once upon a time, 

In a land far, far away... 

God created Colleen Mary

On thee 11th day of May.

The Master of the universe, 

With His great and mighty hand, 

Breathed life into her body, 

And placed her in this land. 

He gave her strength and purpose,

Equipped her to do His will,

She followed where He led her, 

Her lifesong to fulfill.  

Then one day she met Jesus, 

And asked Him into her heart,

That moment on her life was changed,

Now the two will never part. 

I think if she were here right now,

She'd have one thing to say:

The most important thing in life,

Is for you to be saved today.

Just bow your head and talk to Him,

It doesn't matter how you pray.

Don't worry you can't do it wrong,

And don't wait til some other day.

Admit you are a sinner, 

Believe Christ died for you.

Commit your life unto Him now,

In all you say and do.

Then don't forget to thank Him,

She used to always in threes:

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou

And often on her knees.  

Now fix your eyes on Jesus

And always seek His face.

Let go of sin that messes you up,

And with PATIENCE run the race.

Now "I" also have a favor to ask, 

If you get home before me?

There's an angel up in heaven,

That I'm very anxious to see.

Her name is Colleen Mary

With eyes- blue as the sea,

She twirls baton and praises the Lord,

And looks a little like me.  

Please hug her and tell her I'm doin ok,

And learning to be patient too,

Thank her for my goodbye kiss,

and all thee "I-love-you-more-" toos

Tell her I see the dragonflies,

They seem to fill thee air,

I never really noticed before,

But now they're every where.

I know we'll be together again,

Until then we both must wait... 

When my life on earth is over,

I'll meet her at the gate.

Now...

Thank YOU God for all You are,

And who You are to me--

Thank You for my Angel Mother,

Thy heart goes unto Thee...

love, LeaonMary