Letter To My AngelMother

I still cry Mama when my little world goes all wrong and you're not there.  

I still feel like I "need" you.  

I can still hear your reassuring voice say, "Everything's gonna be alright lil Babes," 

I always knew that when you said that, ... it would be true. 

I loved when you called me Lil Babes.  Did I ever even  tell you that?

And I have to tell you I love my name now.  Thank you for making it unique and sharing the Mary.

Did you know that...?

I still ache hard when I make your potato salad... especially when I use the bowl you gave me?

Your pink tweed blazer still hangs in my closet because I can't bear to part with it.  

I still wear the fuzzy socks you had on when you went home to Jesus. 

I've noticed I mostly put them on if I feel sad.   

I kept your lil bib overalls (the sassy pants) and the other day I tried to put them on .. they're so skin tight- and you

woulda laughed  hard and slapped your knee.  

Remember our trips to Fjords ice cream in Rapid City?   The time you spilled the

blob of maplenut on your shirt so you turned your whole shirt around and 

we both laughed until we nearly peed our pants.  

I really miss laughing with you Mama.  

I miss calling you and interrupting your show... only for you to say, "I got to go!!!... it's Raymond time!" 

(Everybody loves Raymond)

I miss you calling me saying, "Come get me... it's cappachino time!

I miss ...coming home and finding your long messages on my answering machine... 

I kept some and put the whole machine in my cedar chest so I can keep  your voice Mama.  

I miss the path we had worn between our houses.  

I miss you bringing me raw pumpkin pie juice to drink... 

And a plate of  porcupine meatballs on saurkraut.  

I miss finding a surprise pot of Mums on my porch every Fall.  I still have some. 

I miss the tinkle of your charm bracelet during praise and worship music... seeing your little arms raised high.  

I miss the bright pink rouge on your  cheeks and how we bantered about rubbin that stuff in.  

I still wear a hat in the sun Mama... ever since you told me to. 

I'm learning patience like ya told me to  ...  but I have a ways to go.  

I dote on your peonies... and they're all in my garden now.  

I learned to love pickled beets. 

I will never forget spittin cherry pits off the porch with ya.   

I still can't make banana bread as good as you... but I'll  keep workin at it.  

I even use one of your banana bread pans.  

I love on Spirit and Violet for you every day.  

Violet is so old now and has trouble getting up.

I can still hear you call her name ... from the far fence ... 

I bet Violet remembers too.  

When the pears ripen on your tree I take them a couple  just like you did. 

Range cakes too.   

Man I misssssss  you Mama.

--You'd be so proud of Trent and Tony... they're really good boys Mama.  

I tell Blakelea about her great grandmother often.  

I got a little girl after all Mama can you even believe it?!!!   I even got to be there when she was born..

I sure thought of you that day.  And I cried happy tears. 

Mike and I still gee and haw real good together. 

You used to say we made a good team.  

He stayed by our  side that last night... - he was right there the whole night long... 

He loved you like a mother.   

It's dragonfly season again --

 And whenever I see one I think of you and feel your love all around me. 

Thank you for giving me that... 

It's helped.  

Thank you for all the things you taught me... and planted in me. 

Those last days.. I wrote it all down Mama so I wouldn't forget.  

The things we talked about... things you wanted me to know... 

I listened Mama with all my heart.  

And I will pass the baton on ... just like you did.  

Thank you for being my Mama and my Dad all in one.... and dearest friend.

Happy Mother's day ....  

I love you more.

 Leaonie