Greetings, Holykisses, and Happy Mother's day!
For the last two days, I've either had the flu or a case of food poisoning. We went out to eat thee other night and I had chicken strips, curly fries and then we stopped at the snow cone stand to have our first of the season. I tell you, if I ever see chicken strips, curly fries, or a strawberry cheesecake snowcone ever again, it'll be too soon. I woke up in the middle of the night throwing up, and haven't felt that bad ever since I got sick in Cancun.
In case I'm contagious, we're staying home from church today. I'm still achy and queasy and would not want to share this with anyone else if it is the flu. (yuck) I stayed in bed all day yesterday, and last night. I got up early this morning for more tylenol and read the Word awhile. This day, still leaves me feeling rather bittersweet because I miss my Angelmother. You can read about her first here, and then here.
Time and tears has made things some-better. And although I know she's in heaven and I will see her again... I still have moments where I still feel awful sorry for myself. Especially when all my friends are off doing things with their own Mothers. I really, really miss that, and can't help feeling alone. Because my Mom lived across the pasture, just 5 acres away, she was very much "my day." We did a lot together. She was more than my Momma, she was my dearest friend.
With Mother's day approaching, grief has returned once again; when and where I'd least expect it. I went to Hobby Lobby this week, looking for the perfect flowers to put on her grave, and it hit me again right there in the store. (Hobby Lobby was "our" store. Thee only place she'd let me push her in a wheelchair because she wanted to go inside so badly and was too weak to walk around.) There I stood, aching for her in the floral section, with two mascara rivers flowing down both cheeks. Not pretty.
Trying to gain composure, and walking thee isles I found this dragonfly. It was like a hug and bandaid for my bleeding heart. Today it's on her grave. Funny how dragonflies seem to come outta nowhere, right when I need them the very most.
The very SWEET part of this day, is found in the blessing that God gave me two incredible sons and a beautiful daughter in love. My focus goes to them today, even when I cry on the inside. I pray with all my heart that I live my life in such a way, and show them the love they deserve that one day they'll think of me as I do my own angel Mother. ~As I hug my own kids today, I'll remember her, and keep reminding them to keep their eyes on God, while teaching them how to love.... with all of their heart.
Dragonfly kisses Momma....
~Til we meet again~