Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Day 4,2017 Why I'm Learning to Love My Not So Pretty Handwriting

 Hi friends,

Question:  How do you feel about your handwriting?
Because of technology do you find you barely write at all?
When you do write is it in cursive, or are you a printer?  
Do you write big, or small?  
Do your letters lean at all?
Are you careful and try to write neatly,
or do you scrawl or chicken scratch?

For a long time, I wasn't wild about my own handwriting,
until after my Momma died.  
One day not long after she passed; 
I found myself digging through my cedar chest, looking for 
boxes in closets, boxes in the shed... everywhere for pieces of paper where my Mom
had written to me.  Just writing that brings tears, because the memory of that day;
well... I can still feel it even now.  Thankfully; I'm a pack rat and the digging paid off.  I keep birthday cards, and 
letters, old love letters; anything with sentiment of someone I hold dear; I tend to hold onto them.
And if you've never lost anyone, you may not understand this; but if you have, maybe you've  done the same thing?  I think what  I was looking for that day was communication.  I missed her voice and ached
hard for those words, "I love you Leaonie."  I wanted to hear it.  Finding birthday cards stuck here and there with love you's and seeing her voice in her handwriting was... like finding buried treasure.  They were and still are  priceless.  
Her handwritten letters, I could always spot in a stack of other people's letters.  
They're distinct. 
Unique to her.  

 This letter beneath the purple envelope is probably the most treasured one I have from her. 
I was in High school still and dating my now husband, and my Momma out of the
blue wrote me this heart to heart; even addressed to her little "Babes," 
I've realized after finding  her old  letters and cards how special  handwriting truly is.  
I can only hope one day my own children will feel the same way about mine. 

Now, when I collect recipes from family and friends,
I always try to ask for them to write them out  in their own hand.  
It's so much more special than if typed on a keyboard and printed.  

Now, I'll ask again.  
How do you feel about your handwriting dear heart?
Could it be you're looking at it through eyes of wishing that it looked like somebody else's?
But you're not them.  
You are  you.  

 This letter is my entry in  today's hobonichi.  
I know it's hard to read and sort of messy; but  it's okay. 
This was as much to me ... as anyone else.  
Dear Heart, 
Hey you.  Yes you.  Show me your handwriting.  Grab a pen; any pen and write fast.  Don't overthink it, just write anything at all.  Make a list for your groceries, or write a wishlist.  How about a reminder to self or someone else?  Don't forget: such and such.  Now listen up you!  That handwriting is yours.  It's your fingerprint in ink.  Unique to you.  Yours.  Don't compare to others.  Look at it with true eyes of love and own it.  Beautiful you.  

I'm pretty sure I'll come back to this and re-read it a  few times this year,
 I  still have moments where I want to rip something up
or gesso over a journal page  and start all over all because
of how my writing looked.  
I still like to  keep practicing pretty hand lettering, and if I go really slow and try hard, I'll sometimes get 
one piece of paper out of twenty or more  that I actually really like.  
I've never just had pretty  penmanship.  It doesn't come easy to me.
But I'm learning to see it differently. 
Like my  AngelMomma's handwritten letters
 of love.     


Anonymous said...

Yes handwriting is so unique to us and it is such a nice feeling when you recognise someone's handwriting isn't it. I can remember my Mum telling me that when she came to Scotland at first that my Gran used to love getting letters from her as she could read the letter over and over whereas a phone call was just for a short time.

I usually start off trying to write ever so neat but then it ends up all messed up coz I'm trying to write everything down that I'm thinking.

I like your idea of writing to yourself though. Think I need to do that too.

Jeanie xo

Anonymous said...

I have kept letters and cards too...they are more treasured than any jewels could ever be. I know that you mean, sometimes you just miss their voice and it aches so much. Thank you for sharing your heart. Love ya