Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Believing Is Really Seeing........

Greetings and Holykisses,

How's your week going?!
Great I hope!

The beginning of my week was awesome. Had a wonderful church service and the message was on worrying. --Something I've shared with yall before that I tend to do especially at night when I begin to close my eyes.

I'm learning that a good antidote to worry... is to remember what God says about the ravens, and the lilies instead.
Especially the lilies. I like lilies. ;)
Especially the Star Gazer lilies; the lilies my Strongheart gave me and are planted front and center in my little garden. I'll remember their delicious pink fragrance and the verse: "Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." Luke 12:27 Ahhhh...-- God takes care of us. Always.

I'm still reading the book 1000 Gifts and have so enjoyed and been blessed finding "my" Gifts. To really see something your soul has to go deeper. ..... and I'm starting to understand that Believing is really seeing. There have been so many things I overlook. Little things I pass by without reeeally noticing or ever appreciating.


My friend Maxi put this on our church sign and I love it.
I even printed it out to put in my soul journal. She has quite a sign ministry and it blesses me on countless occasions. And so I'm praying.... Open my eyes Lord.... I want to SEE ... REALLY SEE!

Our cow Popcorn here is recorded in my nest-y notebook.
Have you ever been cowkissed?

Well Popcorn here has a sweet tooth for range cakes that I feed to Violet and Spirit our donkeys. To feed a donkey or horse, you lay your hand flat with the cake on it so they don't accidentally get a finger in there. They gingerly take the cake off your hand and are so gentle. Popcorn can't do it that way... you have to hold the cake out and her foot long tongue comes out at you and curls around your whole hand trying to take the cake! Usually half my hand ends up in her mouth. It's really comical and to this darlin cow; range cakes are like Lays chips; you can't eat just one ya know. - By the time my pockets are empty; my hands are a nasty, bovine, Sticky-saliva-d', mess. She's so demanding that she'll follow me then wanting more; which is abit intimidating since she has the pokiest horns. I usually make an exit and run for the water trough to wash off my disgusting hands. Okay, so don't tell me my hands aren't really clean having been washed off in Lydia the goat's water trough; it's an improvement to the latter. lol Somehow, cowkisses... are really charming and wonderful all at the same time. Popcorn's tongue is rough.... and I struggle to describe it in words... what's the grittiest sandpaper you ever felt? Well; cow tongue kisses are ... way more than that. :D

Besides seeing beauty in cowkisses, the first purple bloom, and a whispered I love you, I saw beauty in a hard thing this week. I found myself in a situation where someone who had wronged me horribly was before me. I haven't had any contact ... but here they stood before me. Memories came flooding back, and although I had already forgiven them and moved on, .... I realized ...I still carried stones in my back-pockets.

*.....Then the music started.
What did I do... how did I respond... or react???
I ................................................................................................sang to them.
While the music played, ... I sang, ...... and while I sang, I began to see myself.
There I stood before the King of Universe.
---Yes,...... the other person had wronged me terribly.......
--Yes, it.......... cost me great loss.
--Yes it cost me alot of pain.
--And yes, to make matters worse; I was then charged by this person with a debt I did not owe.
music- (and me singing.)

And somehow, while I sang, God stepped into the very heart ... of my heart.
I stood before Him. Only it was me ...in the wrong.
Me I began to see....
Me......
I was the one before Him, and it was me who had done wrong.
And *still*......He loved me. He loved me *still.*
He loved me so much that He took the nails, the beatings, the ridicule.... the mockings, .... the pain....and died .... just for me.
He paid my debt,....
Paid in full.

As I looked... to the one I sang to....
I realized I had to drop all my stones.
Even though I had already forgiven this one,... I still carried stones in the folds of my pockets.
The deep recesses of my mind and heart had still harbored hard stones. Stones of anger and hurt.
... and as I sang.... they all dropped... one by one... to the floor.

"So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." John 8: 7

We all have sinned... and
My eyes are opened.
I give thanks.... for seeing this Grace.
And I give thanks for this "amazing love" I am shown,
.....and with the Holy Spirit,... in a sense.. I reGIFT....

I discovered through this that in my faith walk, I need to be careful to not keep picking up more and more stones along the way. People will hurt us. People will abuse us, ... but carrying a pocketful of rocks gets heavy. They weigh us down. And God will see justice.
I think sometimes we have to turn our pockets inside out and give it them a good shake when forgiving..... until hands and hearts are truly empty. Then we can be re-filled with good things.... unconditional love, peace, ... and onto that jewel that is joy. It's a much lighter load!




Thank you Lord for all these gifts you bestow on me.
For your lavished love....- unconditional!
You ARE good!

7 comments:

Simple "T" said...

Amen to emptying our pockets, We know we truly forgive when the situation no longer hurts us. Still struggling with that one.

I have been kissed by a cow...very gooey. This one liked oranges. Your sweet one sure is blessed, you bake for her.

God bless your day!

Heidi said...

Yes. I've been licked by a cow tongue...very rough.

Yes. I've had to forgive and do as God would do...forget. That's hard, but I have to remember I am a sinner as well. NO one is without sin. I need to empty my pockets daily, but do I?

Boy oh boy...your journaling is cool. You've always inspired me in that area! I have to confess to you that in the past I have printed out YOUR pictures with verses that seem to be perfect for something I'm going through. I glue them in my journal. So you are there, in a way, in my journal!

Oh sister-in-Christ, you do so much for so many and you have no idea. May you be blessed.
Hugs, Heidi

From the Heart said...

I love to read what you are doing. You enjoy everything you see and even have a forgiving heart as well as a loving heart.
God bless you.

Rebecca said...

What a blessed & truth-filled post.

Michele Katherine said...

Lea,

This post is a HUGE BLESSING!
"You had me at" (not hello :o), but....

"*.....Then the music started."

I so need to constantly be reminded about forgiveness, really letting it go, laying it at His feet. I have often thought I'm over a hurt, but then I start thinking about that one thing, and I realize part of
me has held onto that as sort of a self defense in case I need to use it. I'm really starting to understand the whole "Put on the armor or God", because the helmet of Salvation is what protects our thoughts, which is where the trouble usually begins. Ok, I hope this made sense??

I love your new blog design, I'm thinking that is you praying in the header picture? Also, I did not know you had a cow and donkey's, your a real farm girl.

God bless you,
Michele

Debra said...

Hi Lea-
I apologise for not visiting in a while---but it's so funny-when I do visit you, there's always a word (many words) that God speaks right smack to my heart...And even funnier you should mention cow kisses and forgiveness together--cow kisses I remember from my childhood, and also many hurts from my childhood. Those stones get so heavy you can't move. But then to be face to face with yourself in front of a Holy and Just Savior, that's when they drop. I loved this post Lea-mostly because I have come through an awful time of holding tight to hurts and actually hating people-to now being delivered from so many things, and finally able to forgive. And even to forgive myself...
I love you. Debra

Denise said...

I have found that when the memory comes to mind and the emotion of that memory does not.....HE has healed our heart...if the pain comes with the memory then I need to lay it at HIS feet again....... It is like an old scar...... You remember that you were injured but you have no pain...... HE can heal the hurt but the memory remains...... I have a couple of things right now that I am having to lay at HIS feet.