Blockquotes are still non-existent, and they're on the back burner.
I've been pressing on in Matthew this morning even though I felt like I could have hung out in chapter 13 for a few more days. I know I'll be re-visiting in the days to come.
Sunday's sermon has been on my mind alot. It was over John 5:1-9; the story of the Pool of Bethesda and the crippled man who couldn't get down into the pool to be healed. Jesus saw him and asked him, "Wilt thou be made whole?" The man had his infirmity for 38 years and explained that he had no man to help him get into the pool so he could be healed. He said, "while I am coming another steppeth down before me." Jesus told him to
"Rise, take up thy bed and walk."The man was healed.
Our Pastor talked about things that over time begin to seem normal. This man had his infirmity for 38 years. It makes you wonder if he began to accept it as it was... or if he kept trying to change what could possibly be changed? Our Pastor asked us what is hindering "us?" How would my life be different if I could be free of those things that hinder me to living life the way God would have me live?
This morning I journaled my hindrances; those things that are messing me up of being who God created me to be.
Then God showed me something else. My focus was in relating to the man with thee infirmity, but I'm also like the ones running over top, and past that man with thee infirmity. In the scurry of things, (life) on my way to the POOL, I often neglect to reach out to the ones who also have needs? I thank God I'm getting there; but maybe my infirmity is also that I've been too blind of helping others get in The Pool. Sometimes... even to the point that I'm stepping over them to get where I'm going.
One other thing God showed me today had to do with my will vs God's will. In Matthew 16:23:24 Jesus turned to Peter and said,
"Get thee behind Me satan: thou art and offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God but those that be of men. Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."
Thee other night, Myguy and I stopped at McDonalds for an ice cream cone. At the drive-thru, I had one of the boys on my cellphone. At the end of our conversation, he wanted to talk to his Dad. I handed Myguy the phone and as we pulled out he was trying to hold his ice cream cone in the hand that was holding the steering wheel, and was trying to smash the blackberry to his ear with the other. We took the short cut home that goes across a country road out of town. I don't know what our son was asking him about but they talked and talked, and I noticed the ice cream was starting to drip. So I did what any shabby country girl would do, and took the wheel so he could start licking. lol I know, I know... we shoulda pulled over. But he didn't. He let me drive from the passenger seat instead. It "seemed" logical... after all it was a country road, ...we were going slow and you never see other cars.* Until we did. I saw lights up ahead, so I gripped the steering wheel a little harder and kept steering for him~! Just as we got close to meeting the other car, Myguy reached down and put his hand on the wheel. I guess he didn't trust me? Maybe because he knows I "see terribly in the DARK anyhow," ... and I kept veering a little off the road. But I have to say, I didn't trust him either. He was still talking on the phone and eating that ice cream cone with his other hand. We both had the wheel, and I could feel as I would pull a little to the right, he was pulling to the left. I wanted control! He wanted control! No sooner had the car passed us, he let go... and kept right on talking and eating. So I kept steering. Usually that road is hardly traveled, but this particular night, we saw 5? cars, and he did the same thing every time we'd meet them. He'd reach down and grab the wheel because he didn't trust me. I held on tight coz I didn't trust him either. Finally he hung up and I let go. -- This actually got brought up and we laughed about it later. He hated that feeling too of "resistance," when I was pulling one way and he was the other. lolol Ya'll are never going to want to get behind us at the drive thru ever are you? (I promise, we learned our lesson,...) But I'm kinda glad this happened because reading about God's will today, made me actually "feel" : living my will vs God's will. Going through life, do I trust HIM, or grip the wheel not wanting to surrender control?
I can literally feel the resistance while I hang on wanting it my way.
Father God... along the journey; ...on my way to the pool,.... may I remember to reach out a hand to the ones who need to get there as well. And Lord, at the same time... help me to let go of the wheel. Your will, your way. No resistance!!!!!